Slow and Steady Wins the Race
In last week’s post I was talking about struggling with perfectionism, and this week for me was a living example of it.
I started the week strong, feeling productive and crossing tasks off of my calendar. Aaaaaaand then, I crashed. I woke up mid-week feeling completely tired and unmotivated, not wanting to do anything. Having tasks left incomplete on my to-do list made me feel worse. In the past, I most definitely would have ignored how I was feeling and steamrolled through, suffering immensely with a stubborn necessity of needing to do. I think it’s a story we’re all familiar with, living in a society that taught us our worth is tied to our productivity and that resting means you’re lazy.
At some point in my journey, I told myself I would no longer allow myself to burn out in the pursuit of my goals. I don’t always accomplish that but I’m getting better at it. I’m grateful that I decided to just let myself be when I was feeling burnt out— which includes laying off of the negative thinking that can come along in these situations. If you’re physically resting but mentally and emotionally you’re being hard on yourself, feeling guilty, and allowing stress to take over, it’s not really rest. In my own experience, I’ve learned that it’s better for me to just do what I need to do (stay in bed, nap, etc.) and be what I need to be (miserable, tired, sad, unmotivated, etc.) than to try and force anything else. You need to feel it to heal it— but if you don’t let it go, you’re holding onto the weight of all that suffering. All of those thoughts and emotions take a lot of energy, especially when they’re relentless or passionate. I remind myself that it’s a temporary situation and I’ll feel like myself again in time. We do so much everyday, for ourselves and others. It’s not fair to be angry at ourselves when we’ve pushed ourselves to our limits. Give yourself grace instead. When I give myself the time I need to recover, I end up needing less time than I would need if I decided not to rest and forge ahead. And those things on my to-do list are still waiting for me, but when I do them I know I’ll do a better job than had I tried to do them on an empty battery.
Speaking of to-do lists, don’t always wait to finish yours before you give yourself “permission” to rest. To-do lists never really end, there’s always something that needs doing. The laundry can wait another day. Give yourself a break because you need one, not because you think you’ve earned or deserve it. I feel like I’ve been able to accomplish more and go further on my journey by slowing down, taking breaks, and living a more balanced life than I did in the past when I would sprint ahead only focusing on tasks and sacrificing my needs and other desires like having fun and resting.
Of course there are times when we have obligations that must be met, regardless of how we’re feeling. It’s hard to navigate that. I’m grateful to work from home, for myself. I wish I could go back in time and give advice to my younger self who was chronically burnt out while she was a full-time student and also worked a 9-5 job. I would tell her to prioritize herself as much as she can by getting enough sleep as possible, eating proper meals, and finding healthy outlets for stress relief. I’d tell her to ask for help and support from family or friends, delegating tasks that others can do or collaborating to study for an exam. I would tell her to create as much balance as possible, to find time to have fun and hang out with friends (or cancel plans and stay home), to go for a walk if she’d been sitting at her desk for hours. I’d remind her that mindset plays a big role— perhaps the biggest— in how we feel and perform, that she’s doing her best, and to be kind and encouraging to herself.
It’s okay to need rest. It’s okay to take your time. Some days you may feel like superhero and you accomplish a lot and feel good. The days you don’t, don’t make you any less worthy.